After The Diagnosis: A Survivor Reflects

Looking back, I’d tell myself to be proactive, follow medical advice and treatment plans laid out by my healthcare providers and above all entrust everything to the Lord. If only I had known that lumps could be addressed and shouldn’t be ignored, my illness wouldn’t have progressed.

Way back in March 2021, I discovered a lump in my breast, about the size of a mung bean. I had an ultrasound, and the findings were benign. I started taking herbal supplements and applying some topical treatments based on advice I received. However, after 3 to 4 months, the lump grew larger, and I started experiencing bloody discharge. I continued with the herbal medicine and topical treatments.

I was still in the stage where I could hardly accept that I needed to undergo treatment, even with the signs. I was still in denial. In situations like this, acceptance is crucial so we can undergo treatment, not just for ourselves, but for our loved ones who still need us. It wasn’t until October 2021, during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, that I stumbled upon an online event on Facebook featuring Dr. Tovera. Her approach was gentle and informative, which encouraged me to seek medical attention.  After the online event, I sought God’s guidance and help, amidst doubts, fears, and anxieties that kept me up at night. But God’s response was reassuring: Why worry? I’m with you, and I won’t leave you. Exodus 14:14 became my go-to verse: The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Holding onto this promise gives me strength, reminding me that with God, all things are possible.

We went back to the doctor, and I had another ultrasound. The results showed that the lump was BI-RAD 4, indicating malignancy.

Then the procedure continued. I underwent surgery to remove the lump, a minor procedure while I was awake, on December 17, 2021. The lump was then sent for biopsy, and the results came out in January 2022 showing that it was a cancerous, invasive carcinoma. My husband picked up the results and told me, “Nay, you can do this, we’ll face it together, God is good and won’t abandon us.” I asked him why he was acting different, and that’s when he revealed the results. I felt like I was dumped with cold water, numb, especially when I was alone. But the bright side was that I didn’t feel alone, thanks to my supportive husband and above all to God, who wrapped His arms around me and said, I’ll be with you on this journey, I won’t abandon you. Following the diagnosis, we promptly sought guidance on the next steps.

The start of chemotherapy was relatively smooth. I had regular chemo sessions: 4 cycles every 21 days, 12 sessions every week, and 17 sessions every 21 days. Due to the pandemic, I needed to take antigen tests before each chemo session, aside from blood tests and monitoring of laboratory results. All my lab tests were okay, so I didn’t need blood transfusions. After each chemo session, I could still go grocery shopping, visit the market, and do some mom tasks. At home, I could still prepare food for myself and my family. It’s not an easy journey, especially when I felt unwell, had headaches, and lost my appetite. But the good thing is that I was able to get through it all, only by God’s grace.

I was filled with fear, sadness, and worry, not for myself, but for my family – husband and especially our young kids. The thought of leaving them behind is what’s terrifying me.

When my body was weak and my mind was weary, I’d feel the weight of unfinished dreams for my family. Questions would swirl: Is this the end? Who will take care of my loved ones? Yet, in the silence, I’d hear the Lord’s gentle voice, urging me to trust in His goodness. I’d remind myself that my life is a gift, borrowed from Him, and every moment is an opportunity to bring glory to Him.

Isaiah 41:10 has taught me about true strength: Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. This verse has been a source of strength for me. The Lord is the one I turn to in all times. I’ve made a total surrender. And He hasn’t disappointed me, because He’s made difficult times bearable. My journey hasn’t been easy, but with the Lord by my side, He’s made it manageable.

When I felt like giving up, I clung to the promises of the Lord in Exodus 14:14, The Lord will fight got you, and you only need to be still and Psalm 23:4, Even though I walk to the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and staff comfort me. These promises gave me the strength to keep going.

Now, I’m overflowing with gratitude for the people who’ve been my pillars of strength during life’s storms. I’d like to extend my gratitude to Nurse Cha, who provided exceptional care during my chemotherapy sessions. Her kindness and compassion made a significant difference, and our sessions would often begin with prayers and reflections on God’s goodness, which helped make the challenging journey more bearable. She’s truly a caring and loving nurse. My church family, who’ve become my brothers and sisters in Christ, have faithfully lifted me and my family in prayer. My former colleagues and boss have shown me remarkable kindness, even after I moved on from Palawan Pawnshop. My siblings, dad, and especially mom, who despite her own struggles with illness, continued to pray for me and give me strength. My sister- and brother-in-law have consistently prayed for and supported me whenever I needed it. My extended family – aunts, uncles, and others – have also been generous with their help and prayers. My children are my daily source of joy and strength, my husband has been my rock, showing unwavering love and support despite his own exhaustion. His strong faith in the Lord has inspired me to stay positive and persevere through challenges. But above all, I give glory to the Lord, who has been the Author of my life since before I took my first breath. I trust in His perfect plan, even when the path ahead seems uncertain, knowing that it’s designed for my good. Though I may not see the full picture now, I’ll understand it in His perfect time. All glory belongs to Him alone.

I’m so amazed by the strength that the Lord has given me. I think that if I were on my own, I wouldn’t be able to do it, I’d definitely give up. But because of God’s grace, the impossible has become possible.

Acceptance is the first step towards healing. Acknowledge your condition and take immediate action. Surrender to God’s plan and trust in His guidance. Let go of fear and worry, and instead, focus on the present moment. Trust your medical team and pray for their wisdom and expertise. Remember, God is always with you, guiding and supporting you every step of the way. Take a deep breath, be brave, and start your journey towards healing today!

My journey with illness has been a rollercoaster of emotions, but through it all, I’ve learned that even in the toughest moments, there’s always hope. Despite the challenges that come with a diagnosis, I want others to know that we still have the strength to fight, to persevere, and to find joy in the midst of suffering. I’ve come to realize that acceptance and surrender to God are not signs of weakness, but rather signs of strength. By trusting in His plan and timing, I’ve found peace and comfort in the midst of uncertainty. And alongside faith, trusting our doctors and their plans is vital. Medical expertise and treatment can make a significant difference in our journey towards healing. But beyond the medical aspects, I want people to know that they’re not alone. There are loved ones, friends, and community members who care deeply and want to support them. Whether it’s a listening ear, a helping hand, or a comforting presence, there are people who want to walk alongside them through this journey. My desire in sharing my story is to give hope and inspiration to those who are newly diagnosed, to caregivers who are supporting their loved ones, and to families who are navigating this journey together. I want them to know that there’s still life after diagnosis, and that there are ways to fight and heal. It’s not going to be easy, but with the right mindset, support, and treatment, we can find a way forward. To those who are struggling, I want to say that you are stronger than you think. You are capable of facing whatever comes your way. And you are not alone. There are people who believe in you, who care about you, and who want to support you every step of the way. My story is not one of triumph or victory, but one of hope and resilience. I hope that by sharing it, I can inspire others to hold on to hope, to trust in God’s goodness, and to find strength in the midst of weakness.

The I.E. Medica Cancer Assistance & Navigation Program (iCAN Program) is a dedicated patient-centric program that addresses the unique needs of those facing cancer. It streamlines access to complete care regimens and connects patients to government agencies which offer financial assistance, ensuring that patients receive the support they need at every stage of their journey. Its features include: